Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part One, Review

The Twilight Saga, an up-to-now-entertaining set of films about a love triangle between a vampire with a quiff, a dour-faced schoolgirl and a werewolf who can’t act, has always attracted an unreasonable amount of bile. Unusually, it hasn't come from critics, so much as the droves of young, straight males with a broadband connection who resent that a popular movie series has the gall to pander to an audience other than them.

Crowds largely made up of teenage girls and their approving mothers have so far spent £1.13 billion watching Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) brood and mumble their way through three increasingly well-made films that authentically captured the misery of being a love-struck teenager.

The Twilight Saga's Breaking Dawn Part I" becomes the latest movie that is being parodied by "The Muppets". In several brand new posters of the upcoming comedy film, Miss Piggy and friends are seen imitating the pose of the main characters in the famous vampire film series. They also change the title into "The Muppet Saga".

Rocking her trademark red gown and pearl necklace, Miss Piggy is featured as Bella Swine, a parodied version of Kristen Stewart's Bella Swan. Meanwhile, Kermit the Frog is Vamphibian, a twisted version of Robert Pattinson's Edward Cullen. In another one-sheet, Rowlf the Dog appears as WereRowlf, which is a parody for Taylor Lautner's Jacob Black.

"Breaking Dawn Part I" itself will be released in theaters across the nation on November 18. The cast recently attended the star-studded premiere of this latest "Twilight" movie at at the Nokia Theatre in Downtown Los Angeles on Monday, November 14.

As for "The Muppets", the comedy will be dropped in U.S. theaters on November 23. It will see Miss Piggy and the gang teaming up with humans, Gary and Mary, to stop the mean Tex Richman from destroying Muppet Theater and Muppets Studio to drill oil. Jason Segel plays Gary, Amy Adams stars as his girlfriend Mary, while Chris Cooper portrays Tex.

Serving as the helmer for the comedy film is James Bobin. The script is penned by Segel along with Nicholas Stoller. The film will feature a slew of A-list cameos, including Selena Gomez, Neil Patrick Harris, Lady GaGa, George Clooney, Katy Perry, Ben Stiller and more.
But this fourth and penultimate film, in which Edward and Bella marry and finally consummate their relationship, takes an Olympic-pole-vault-sized leap backwards. Director Bill Condon and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg have adapted Stephenie Meyer’s awkward source novel into a formless, gormless soap opera: it’s a humourless, incoherent bore that lives down to the very worst stereotypes associated with the franchise.

After a brief prologue in which the cast receive their wedding invitations and Jacob gets so angry he takes his t-shirt off – don’t question it, it’s what he does – the film opens with Edward and Bella’s long-awaited nuptials. These are admittedly well-mounted and the bride’s Pippa Middleton dress is very on-trend. They also give the unsung heroes of the Twilight cast, Billy Burke as Bella’s father Charlie and Anna Kendrick as her friend Jessica, their once-per-film chance to show off: in this case, in an enjoyable after-dinner speech montage that recalls a scene from this summer’s sleeper hit comedy Bridesmaids. The happy couple then jet off on their Brazilian honeymoon, during which the groom’s enthusiastic lovemaking demolishes their four-poster bed – well, after 200-odd years of abstinence, it would do.


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